Choose to Change - Moving into Retirement
Do you ever get to the place where you want to quit everything? I sure do, but I usually spend lots of time in self analysis trying to talk myself out of not quitting. I ask myself, are you scared because you are out of your comfort zone? Are you afraid that you will make a mistake? And a thousand other questions. But I have also been in the place of staying too long and regretting that I didn't make the move sooner, change is good and a normal part of life.
I talk to so many women that are ready for a change but are paralyzed by the what if's. They know in their hearts they are ready for something new, fresh, and yet they allow the fear to keep them in the same place doing the same things. Isn't that the definition of insanity?
Making a Conscious Change
One of my fabulous members, has started a new life. She left a long time job as an administrative assistant, ended a marriage that was flat-lined many years before. She took the event planning program at NAIT, and is planning a trip to Guatemala to work with the people. She is going by herself and doesn't speak Spanish. A few months ago she went on a kayaking trip to the west coast, something she dreamed about for years. She told me how the dolphins were swimming around the kayaks, her eyes sparkling as she told me how amazing the experience was. You would think, she must be a really outgoing women! Actually she is quite shy and has not lived an adventurous life. She made a choice, one to start living her life, her way. Still a wonderful mom, great friend and as loyal as the day is long, but she knew it was time to make a change and did it. Is she any different than you? Yes and no. The word that comes to mind is courage. She didn't want to be the women who had regrets and did the coulda, shoulda game until it was too late.
What is 2014 looking like to you? The same old thing? How about taking a course, traveling to somewhere new, or clearing out your cluttered life and looking at what is important to you. Really important. Is is stuff, people or life experiences?
Is retirement in your immediate future or maybe you have already taken that leap? How is that going? I really want to know.
Retirement can be heaven or hell, says Sara Yogev, (A Couples Guide to a Happy Retirement).
And it can be very stressful, bringing up periods of grief for some. You could be losing a job that defined you, a routine, income and maybe even status. Some people find the transition of retirement easy, some think it will be easy and for some that have been defined by their jobs, find it a terrible struggle.
Retirement can bring about many changes, many forced and many by choice. And retirement can cause changes to your relationships, especially with your husband or partner. Household responsibilities may change or should be shifted, your available time for each other changes, so again comes choices to make. It could be time of tremendous personal growth and more intimacy or it can go the other direction and end in a breakup. I see it all the time.
We will be talking about retirement in our upcoming workshop February 19th, 2014. "Tips for a Successful Retirement" with special guest Laurel Vespi. For more information click here.
Here is a great book to read.
Dianna Bowes is the founder of Fabulous of
50 and the editor of Be Fabulous! Magazine.
Dianna was the winner of the 2011 YWCA Women of Distinction Award in the Turning Point category. She is a creative soul, who loves connecting people and embracing life. And loves to ride the Edmonton River Valley.