I am limitless...
I am limitless...
This July I fulfilled an obligation to one of the most important people in my life, my daughter Amber. I had promised her many years ago to take her to New York for her 30th birthday. I am very blessed to be at a place in my life that I could fulfill this promise and I joined her for 9 days in the Big Apple. It is funny how we label cities, and people. Whenever you say you are from Canada, people always remark how friendly we are. And New York has always been portrayed as a fast paced city with rude and abrupt people. A place where you have to fight to get a taxi and people are pushing and shoving you on the subway. Wrong, wrong, wrong, my experience was completely the opposite; everyone was approachable, helpful and very friendly. I think we could learn some lessons from New York. I find Edmonton not as friendly as it used to be, especially when they are in a car. I would never drive again if we had a public transit system like New York.
So this brings me to the reason for this blog. Why do we find it necessary to put a label on cities, people and mostly ourselves? We label ourselves, by saying what our occupation is, our education, and if we married, and that we are a mom. All may be true, and good things. But they could also be limiting us as well as holding us back from being... lets say a writer, an artist…
I have known many people, who even are identified by an illness. Now that is very sad, once you say it, it becomes your reality. When you say: "it is hard because…" and add whatever your label is, it becomes your reality. There are those that are so identified by their jobs, that when they retire or lose the job, they are lost.
The single women who say, “it is hard to find a good man”. Well yes, it will be hard, because you believe it will. Let's just for a minute, change that to "there are plenty of good men for me to meet." It may take a while to find the one that fits into your life, but it opens up a positive stream of opportunities. When I was single and dating, I really focused on just meeting people. One month I made the decision to meet someone new everyday, male or female. There were people at my gym I had worked out with everyday and never talked to. I meet so many interesting people that were relieved that I walked up to them and introduced myself. I just enjoyed the process; you never know who that person is or who that person knows.
As a young woman, I wore the label as a "widow" because my young firefighter husband died 10 days before our first anniversary. I have to tell you I got a lot of mileage with this. A lot of victim mileage. I got so sick of the pity I received every time I told people, that I completely stopped talking about my past, and many of my newer friends had no idea about this time in my life.
I believe once we take off the labels, or are willing to change, add, adjust them, is when we will have freedom to be fully us. Being a mid-age woman is label-changing time.
What is your new label going to say? I am limitless... I hope.
Enjoy your limitless summer and do something new and exciting.
Dianna Bowes is the founder of Fabulous@50 and the editor of Be Fabulous! Magazine. Dianna was the winner of the 2011 YWCA Women of Distinction Award in the Turning Point category and the 2014 Leader of Tomorrow Business Award. She is a creative soul, who loves connecting people and embracing life. Travel, great food, family, friends and a long bike ride on a sunny day are her definitions of great life. To read more about Dianna's story click here.