Congratulations on deciding to start your own Fabulous at 50 group. I’m sure you’ll find, as so many have already, that your life will change in wonderful ways when you join with others who are committed to living life to the fullest. The friendship, support, and accountability will give you the edge you need to stop hoping for a better life and start making it happen. In this section we’ve put together everything you need to know about starting and running a great Fabulous at 50 Group. Enjoy!
Tips for running a successful group
The following guidelines not only help create a safe place for a productive and enjoyable meeting, they help to eliminate the kind of habits that quickly dissolve a group. I recommend that you review the following guidelines at the start of every meeting:
- Commit to Confidentiality. Everything that is said at a Fabulous at 50 meeting is strictly confidential.
- Give Everyone Equal Time. Be sure that each person has a chance to speak. While there may certainly be times when a member needs extra attention, it’s important to prevent members from continuously dominating the conversation. This is the one problem that I’ve seen ruin a group quicker than any other. To ensure that everyone gets equal time, use a timer or an alarm clock to keep members on track. Make sure that it sounds an alarm when time is up. Remember that your meeting should be focused on action not social chitchat, unless it is a coffee meeting.
- Don’t be critical or give unsolicited advice. Let each person ask for what they need.
- Share Facilitation. Have someone new facilitate your meetings each time you meet to prevent the group from having a “boss.” This is also important for those members who have a tendency to get caught up in the “teacher” role and end up not getting the support they need. Too often a member who needs the most support is the one who will take on the caretaker role of the group. Avoid this tendency by rotating leadership.
- Focus on the positive. Put the attention on what works. Look for and acknowledge a member’s strengths. Keep complaining and whining to a minimum — one minute or less (we all need to do it sometimes). If someone continuously comes to a meeting complaining or crying about the same problem without taking action to remedy the situation, this may be an indication that the member needs therapy or some other kind of individual support. Do this member a favor and be honest. Have someone from the group contact the person privately and offer to help them get the support they need. Don’t let a fellow member suffer by being “nice.” Tell the truth.
- Speak from your own experience. Use the word “I” not “you” when speaking to other members.
- Honor the group. Hold a regular “check-in” meeting to be sure that all members are satisfied with how the meetings are run. Tell the truth about how you feel (gracefully, of course). You might also check in at the end of each meeting, once a month, or once a quarter. If there is a problem, address it immediately! For example, if someone talks too much or ignores group guidelines by gossiping, you need to honor your group by telling the truth.