Dianna Bowes

SPIRITUAL FLAT TIRES

dianna@fabulousat50.com — Mon, 14 May 2012 22:22:00 GMT

I have read several of Dr. Bernie Siegal's books on healing. He refers to the concept of a "spiritual flat tire" as those bumps in the road that delay us but need not stop us completely. No only have I found dis-ease to fall in this, but life happens that creates job challenges, relationships issues, financial crisis or maybe just a puncture in your tire.

Life's Challenges

Have you ever been on the way somewhere and all of a sudden you come to a construction zone? If you live in Edmonton, this is normal at this time of year, and it drives people mad. Cars are lined up, traffic is crazy and frustration sets in as you realize you will not make it to your destination on time. Do you curse the City of Edmonton, do you start biting your nails with anxiety? I do both of these by the way…until I stop the inner chatter and accept that it is out of my hands and there may be a good reason for my delay. I turn up the music, send a text or call and say " I will be late."

We may never know why these bumps in the road, construction zones, missed flights, lost luggage show up for us. Just maybe, there is a reason, maybe one we will never know.

Have you ever considered that the real flat tire, may have saved you from a worse fate, a terrible accident. Have you ever rushed out the house, forgetting your keys, and just when you re-enter the house the phone rings and it is a friend in need or a important call?

Resistance

Most of us go through life with resistance to life not showing up in the orderly fashion we expect. Or something shows up for us in a different form, we get all fussy and uncomfortable. Some of the most exciting and enjoyable things have been sent in a different package than expected. Re: my children.

I have had the experience of this the last couple of weeks and so has a very good friend of mine. My friend is a very wise and conscious women, but the disappointment of a failed business transaction, hit her hard. She understands that it is for a reason, but it still hurts. I know she will find peace with it, and a better result will show up for her.

Superwoman

My little bump was to do with my magazine "Be Fabulous". I have been forced to make a decision of continuing to do it on my own, without the support of a publisher or put it to the side for awhile. My stubborn side said" You can do it all, you are superwoman" Then after a very long walk, the reasonable, smarter woman said " just put it to the side and see what shows up." There is a time to know when to let go.

I will be producing a trade-show issue, which is how the magazine started. But after that, I am just waiting for the pieces to fall into place or not. The magazine is loved by all, and I believe it is not over yet…

A few lessons:

Pushing and shoving doesn't work for me. When I allow the natural flow to happen, my results are always better for me and everyone else.

Patience my friends, it does no good to get worked up over something you have no control over.

Worrying is a waste of imagination and energy.

When in doubt: pray or step away from the noise of your life. Take a long quiet walk, ask for answers.

Diseases can be our spiritual flat tires – disruptions in our lives that seem to be disasters at the time but end by redirecting our lives in a meaningful way.” Bernie Seagal

Fabulously yours, Dianna Bowes
www.fabulousat50.com
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Category: Personal Development

Details, details, life has too many details

dianna@fabulousat50.com — Thu, 12 Apr 2012 19:45:00 GMT

Whether it is your life or a painting or hobby, worrying about the details can create stress that is not needed. The old term, nothing is worth doing unless you do it well is overrated. Sometimes just doing it...can be good enough.

Category: Arts & Entertainment

Category: Personal Development

Make a Fresh Start Playing by Your Rules Expert Offers Tips for Living True to Yourself

dianna@fabulousat50.com — Sun, 01 Apr 2012 01:03:00 GMT

What is the No. 1 regret of hospice patients in their dying days? “They wished they would have lived life the way they wanted to, not the way others wanted them to,” says Kathie Truitt, author of The Hillbilly Debutante Café (www.hillbillydebutante.blogspot.com), quoting an article by former palliative care worker Bronnie Ware.

Category: Personal Development

Communal Living Attracting More 60-Something Women

dianna@fabulousat50.com — Sun, 25 Mar 2012 16:24:00 GMT

Author Says Women are Choosing to Age with the Support of Friends Some say the ‘60s hippies are going back to the commune. Others call the growing number of female Baby Boomers rooming together “‘The Golden Girls’ phenomenon.” Author Martha Nelson, who at 65 is on the leading edge of a tsunami of retiring Boomers, says it’s really all about choosing the company of friends.

Category: Relationships

Words can hurt or heal

dianna@fabulousat50.com — Sat, 17 Mar 2012 16:54:00 GMT

Words are powerful, so much so that a few words can hurt or heal a relationship. Even the relationship you have with yourself. Be careful with the words you choose as once they are said, they can not be taken back.

Category: Personal Development

The Art of Solace: Fifteen Tips for Pushing through the Discomfort and Truly Connecting with a Chronically Ill Perso

dianna@fabulousat50.com — Fri, 16 Mar 2012 20:30:00 GMT

Few of us know how to act around a very sick person. And yet, what we say (and don’t say) makes a huge impact. Here are some practical skills for caregivers, family members, and anyone else who wants to make a meaningful difference in a very difficult time.

Category: Relationships

Ads targeting baby boomers rule at Super Bowl

dianna@fabulousat50.com — Wed, 15 Feb 2012 00:52:00 GMT

If you’ve been paying attention at all, you’ve noticed that too many advertisers still labor under the impression that it’s a waste of their time to try for baby boomers’ business. They think we’re too old, too set in our ways. Oh how wrong they’ve been! Now, it looks like some are getting the message, as two writers explain for BoomerCafé. First, Kate Forgach points out how plenty of Super Bowl commercials this year will target US.

My father created the first “mute” button back in the 1960s by rewiring our television. Woe unto the child in our home who didn’t cut the sound during commercials. Dad might have made an exception, however, for Super Bowl ads. That’s the one show each year where marketing agencies really push the creative edge and, lately, seem to be targeting the desirable Baby Boomer demographic. Us!

It’s a wise move, considering that we control 75 percent ($7 trillion) of the total American households’ net worth. Even during the recession, we have accounted for a dramatic 40 percent of total consumer demand. Take that, 18-to-35-year-old demographic!

Enough advertisers have leaked commercials ahead of time that it’s easy to see how they’re targeting us without losing younger audiences. Perhaps the biggest trend I’ve spotted is a harkening back to Baby Boomer touchstones.

High-Profile Boomers

Both Volkswagen and Lipton are using “Star Wars” themes.
Kia’s “Drive the Dream” ad prominently features the Motely Crüe hair band.
Honda is promoting its CR-V model using a cross-generational reference to “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off,” in an ad starring Matthew Broderick.
Hyundai also goes for cross-pollination in its “All For One” ad featuring a wise Boomer trying to inspire a youthful “can’t do” co-worker with the “Rocky” theme.

Another trend is to more prominently feature high-profile Boomers who actually look their age, while still being pretty danged hot.

Grey-haired and gorgeous John Slattery is pushing Lincoln’s new hybrid car.
Diane Keaton is hawking L’Oreal skin care with the phrase, “We’re still worth it.”
Hunkalicious George Clooney is featured in a French ad for a coffee-maker, proving this trend is international.

Brent Green

The trick is to strike the right note. Boomers don’t want to be stereotyped or condescended to, according to Brent Green, Baby Boomer expert and author of Generation Reinvention.

“They want validity,” Green says. “Few are frivolous or impulsive in their buying choices; rather, they are deliberate with a seasoned sense of themselves. They’re set to shatter traditional assumptions about the sixth and seventh decades of life.”

An article in The Journal of Behavioral Studies in Business nails down how we like to be approached. Positive angles include talking about the good life, self-expression, individualism, everyday low prices, and environmentally intelligent lifestyles. Words to avoid include “aging,” “establishment,” “mature,” or anything related to seniors.

Kate Forgach is Content Editor for FreeShipping.org. A middle-of-the-pack Baby Boomer, she wrote for USA Today, the Detroit News and the New Orleans Times-Picayune
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Category: Your Body

Category: Beauty & Fashion

9 Bachelorette Party Ideas for Boomer Brides

dianna@fabulousat50.com — Mon, 13 Feb 2012 17:38:00 GMT

Can you still call a bachelorette party a special gals night out when the "gals" are of Baby Boomer age? You bet you can! Whether this is your first, third or sixth wedding (no judgement), there's no reason to forgo a fun time with your friends.

What does change with time is the desire to wear a tiara with veil and get blasted to the max (see "Bridesmaids"). This begs the question how best to celebrate without acting like a gaggle of giggling pre-pubescent girls. Here are a few thoughts applicable to our status in life that won't wring all the fun out of the occasion. Oh, and I've included a few money-saving ideas, some of which are based on my thrice-married experience.

1. Vegas, Baby!
You know your secrets will stay in Las Vegas, right? While you and your gal pals don't have to go the route of the boys in "Hangover," the town that never sleeps is mighty tempting for a destination event. Plane fair and accommodations are usually cheap and there's nothing that says you have to blow a pile of money to have fun. Atlantic City makes for a good alternative, should you live on the East Coast.

2. Ante Up
If a trip is out of the question, how about hosting a poker night with friends? The bride might even walk away with enough cash to pay for a portion of the wedding or -- if everyone is a high roller -- the entire event. If cash flow is a problem for some, play penny ante or with poker chips. (Wood matches also make a cheap and funky substitute.)

3. Gift Card Your Way to Happiness
There are registries for weddings...why not a registry for bachelorette parties? You can defray costs by setting up a gift registry at such sites as CardAvenue. Register for everything from hotels and gas to car rentals and party supplies. This works particularly well for Boomers, since we already have all the fine china and blenders we normally would request in a wedding registry. (Unless, of course, you lost all those things in the divorce.)

4. Live in the Lap of Luxury
If you can't afford a spa weekend, how about just a spa day or a few hours of pampering? My first (and only) pedicure was administered during a bachelorette party, during which we all gabbled away while luxuriating in personal care. It was a total blast, particularly because the spa allowed us to supply our own libations and treats. They were happy for the group business and we came out maximally relaxed.

5. Sing Your Hearts Out
Karaoke isn't for everyone, particularly in public, but it's hard to resist a good warble in front of your closest friends. Remember that nobody expects everyone to turn all Beyoncé. There are always a few group-sing numbers particularly suited for those with a tin ear. You can rent a karaoke system for anywhere from $50 to $150, depending on the quality and number of song collections you select. If you don't have a rental company in town, companies like Nationwide Karaoke will ship a system to you.

6. Take Them Out to the Ballgame
...or the football, soccer or hockey game, perhaps? Whatever your gang's favorite sport, it's more fun when you share the experience. Baseball games particularly make for great bachelorette parties as there's plenty of time to chat while sitting in the sun and sipping a beer or margarita, depending on the refreshments available at your local ballpark. Don't overlook minor-league games as an inexpensive alternative.

7. Give Back
A new trend in bachelorette parties is to forsake the traditional debauchery in favor of volunteering on a community project, such as working on a home-building project for Habitat for Humanity. You might also organize donations for The Women's Community, which supports victims of abuse and assault.

8. Get Cheesy
Our mothers were the original fondue nuts, but this is a trend that's making a sizable comeback, with entire restaurants devoted to this customer-cooks method. Naturally, you don't have to limit yourselves to cheese. You can add separate pots of boiling bouillon for meat and melted chocolate for dessert. You can round up the necessary fondue sets without making a major investment by cruising a few garage sales.

9. Exchange Clothes
One of the best parties I ever hosted was a clothes swap. We all brought cast-off items in good shape and had a great time modeling our new wardrobe items for each other. Best of all, it didn't cost a cent. You can donate any remaining items to a local non-profit.

Kate Forgach is a Baby Boomer consumer specialist for Kinoli Inc. She has written about senior issues for 11 years as a Cooperative Extension specialist and for a wide variety of newspapers and magazines. She has been featured in USA Today, Detroit News, New Orleans Times-Picayune, New Yorker magazine, "ABC World News," NBC's "TODAY" show and many other media outlets.
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Tags: baby boomer,wedding,bachelor parties

Category: Relationships

Unleash your Creative Self

dianna@fabulousat50.com — Thu, 09 Feb 2012 20:44:00 GMT

Remember finger painting? A clean sheet of paper and paint squishing between your fingers. Swirling bold colours, smooth flowing texture and your amazing natural ability as a human being to create. You probably didn’t think too much about how good your picture needed to be or whether you had any talent. You just had fun and got wrapped up in the process – the process of creating. When you were done, you were likely pretty satisfied with the result. It didn’t really matter anyway because you knew there was always another opportunity to get your hands dirty again.

Just like finger painting, your life is an ongoing creative project. It’s bold, colourful, tactile, sensual and yes, sometimes a little messy. And like finger painting, there is always another opportunity to get a new sheet of paper and begin to create – or recreate – again.

Creativity is a Critical Element

Too often we forget that creativity is a critical element in imagining and achieving our life goals and we become our own worst art critics. Here are some tips for fostering your creativity:

First you must think of yourself as a creative being. Stop saying, "I'm not creative." Of course you are. We all are. It's easy to use too narrow a definition of creativity - painting, drawing, photographing. It's not just about the arts. Your creativity shows up in all kinds of activities like cooking and gardening. Problem solving is a creative process. Coming up with a solution to an obstacle requires you to tap into your creative powers. When you begin to think of yourself as creative, you open up all kinds of possibilities in your life.

Next, stop comparing yourself to other people. Just like in works of art, there's room for lots of different styles in creative ideas. Think Monet vs Picasso. One is not better than the other. They simply appeal to different personal preferences. Allow yourself to follow your own style rather than trying to imitate someone else's.

Keep your eyes open. Creativity is often sparked by something else. Observe more. Be curious. Keep a notebook or journal with you. Then you can jot down ideas as they pop up...or doodle...or collage pictures..or whatever strikes your fancy. Leonardo da Vinci kept a notebook to capture thoughts even if he wasn't sure what he would do with them. Look what amazing things he created.

Shift how you look at things. When you think "I can't because", you stop the creative juices. Instead ask yourself, "How can I?" more often. When you switch to questions like "What would it take?" you point yourself toward possible plans of action.

Try New Things

Finally create space in your life for creativity. Make time to try new things. Play more. Use your imagination. Daydream. Lighten up. Let the universe co-create with you. Creativity is as much a philosophy of being as it is an activity.

What if you approached creating your life with the same sense of delight as your finger painting project? To just relax and have fun and not worry about whether you’re getting it right. To take comfort in the knowledge that you can always begin again. To try something new, a different combination, or another style. To know that, in the end, it’s the process that really counts. What a fabulous art gallery your life might become!

Laurel Vespi is a certified life coach, author and motivational speaker who helps women find more balance, fun and satisfaction no matter what phase of life they are in. Learn more at www.stonecirclecoaching.com
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Tags: creativity

Category: Personal Development

Are you an original? Break Free From the Mold.

dianna@fabulousat50.com — Thu, 09 Feb 2012 20:05:00 GMT

I hope I am an original, this was something I struggled with for many years. I really did not know who I was until I hit my mid-forties. Holy Cow, that took a long time. People would say “just be yourself”. I would pretend to get it, but I didn’t, what the heck did that mean? For me, it was always, what do others want me to be. How can I fit in, how can I be invisible so I won’t be noticed. Well, that is another story for another day.

Self Esteem

For those of you lucky to have great self-esteem, you will think this is odd, but I know many of you out there understand? Am I right?

As a woman who was born in the late 50’s, being yourself, original, unique to the world, was not something that was embraced. Being different is still challenging, teenagers struggle with this all the time. If you are not like everyone else, it can be a hard road. Standing out takes courage.

One of my daughters friend’s was tall and an unbelievable dancer, with a very unique personality. I loved her sense of humor, her ability to just be…but guess what ? Not only did she get put down by many of the teenagers at the dance studio they practiced at, but the mother’s were just as bad, if not worse. It seemed to bother them that she was an original, they misinterpreted her confidence for being stuck up or full of herself and were constantly saying rude things about her.

Mean Girls

Needless to say, I understood early in that game that those were the mom’s I was not interested in being friends with. Yes, these mom’s were the mean girls in high school, that instead of lifting their girlfriends up, they did everything they could to make them feel inferior. So sad…

We had all paid out an abundance of money to have our daughters in dancing to do what? Increase their self -image, self discipline, to keep them focused on something positive and something would challenge them not only physically but mentally as well. So why would they criticize the ones that were getting that for their parents money…jealousy I would guess.

This past weekend I had the privilege of being in a room with 100 women who embrace the growth of other women. Every woman in the room were champions for the others, such a sense of support and I am thankful for finding my tribe.

In my Fabulous@50 meetup group I feel strongly that even though we all come from all walks of life, some of us single, married, divorced, widowed, working, retired…grandmas…that we are all women first. Women whose bodies are changing, and our lives are transforming.

Be An Original

Wear hats
Buy a pair of really funky glasses
Take up dancing or a new hobby you have always wanted to do
Start a blog or write a book
Design your own jewellery and wear it
Change your hair color
Buy a red bra and wear it everyday

I know there are times that other people say things that we do not understand or can’t identify with. But as my grandmother would so often say to me "if we were all the same, it would be a very funny world”. That statement always make me think twice. I sure miss my wise grandma. She taught me the simple lessons, be kind, be patient and be loyal.

Break Free From the Mold

So the big lesson of the day, let’s give ourselves and others the permission to break free from the mold. Stop the judgement and when you feel judged, just let it go and trust that at some point they will get it. Matching the negative energy never makes a situation better, I say kill them with kindness.

The great thing about this time of our lives is that we get to redefine, refocus and be an original. If not now, when?

Fabulously yours, Dianna

Dianna Bowes is the founder of Fabulous@50 and the editor of Be Fabulous! magazine. Dianna was the winner of the 2011 YWCA Women of Distinction Award in the Turning Point Category.
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Category: Personal Development