Menopause Resources - Local and Online
The Seven Dwarfs of Menopause ...
The Seven Dwarfs of Menopause arrived at my door without warning ... Itchy ... Bitchy ... Sweaty ... Sleepy ... Bloated ... Forgetful and All-Dried-Up.
One by one they crept into my cottage in the woods and started to take over my life. The first to arrive was Itchy. I developed this itch on my right calf that was so irritating, I wanted to scratch the skin right off my body!
Then Bitchy came to my door. No longer was my PMS contained to one or two days a month ... it was constant PMS. Then I would swing from Bitchy to Weepy for God's sake, what was wrong with me?
Ding-dong ... It's the middle of the night and Sweaty has crawled into bed with me.
Oh, yes, Sweaty brought embarrassing hot flashes and introduced me to night sweats where it seemed as if a faucet had been attached between my breasts.
Of course Sweaty brought about Sleepy, I was tired all the time. I would wake up so many times in the night and then not be able to get back to sleep.
Bloated crept in slowly, my once-svelte figure got thick through the middle section, even though I was following my weight-loss program that had worked so well for so many years!
I can't quite remember when Forgetful arrived, but one day my brain stopped working. I considered myself a pretty focused woman until Forgetful came and I could not keep a coherent thought in my brain.
Last, All-Dried-Up slowly encroached upon my life. Sex was no longer on the top of my list ... or on my list at all. Happy Menopausing!
Menopause Survival Kit
Put M&M's into a cute container and follow these directions ... To temporarily calm your craving for chocolate eat the BROWN one ... At the first sign of hot flashes eat the RED one ... Eat the ORANGE one to minimize depression ... The GREEN one calms your frustrations, when you want to be left alone ... If you feel a headache coming on eat the YELLOW one ... The BLUE one reduces bloating ...
If all symptoms occur at the same time ... eat the WHOLE bag!!!
Perimenopause or premenopause ...
is the time before actual menopause. This phase lasts 5 to 13 years & is when you experience most of the symptoms. Menopause is actually a one day event, the last day of your last ever period. Of course, you will not know when that day occurred until you no longer have periods. The average age for menopause is 51. Post-menopause begins 1 year after your LAST period.
The 35 Symptons Of Menopause ...
- Hot flashes, flushes, night sweats and/or cold flashes, clammy feeling
- Bouts of rapid heart beat
- Mood swings, sudden tears
- Trouble sleeping through the night (with or without night sweats)
- Irregular periods, shorter, lighter periods, heavier periods, flooding, phantom periods, shorter cycles, longer cycles
- Loss of libido
- Dry vagina
- Crashing fatigue
- Anxiety, feeling ill at ease
- Feelings of dread, apprehension, doom
- Difficulty concentrating, disorientation, mental confusion
- Disturbing memory lapses
- Incontinence, especially upon sneezing, laughing, urge incontinence
- Itchy, crawly skin
- Aching, sore joints, muscles and tendons
- Increased tension in muscles
- Breast tenderness
- Headache change: increase or decrease
- Gastrointestinal distress, indigestion, flatulence, gas pain, nausea
- Sudden bouts of bloat
- Exacerbation of existing conditions
- Increase in allergies
- Weight gain
- Hair loss or thinning, head, pubic, or whole body. Increase in facial hair
- Dizziness, light-headedness, episodes of loss of balance
- Changes in body odor
- Electric shock sensation under the skin and in the head
- Tingling in the extremities
- Gum problems, increased bleeding
- Burning tongue, burning roof of mouth, bad taste in mouth, change in breath odor
- Osteoporosis (after several years)
- Changes in fingernails: softer, crack or break easier
- Tinnitus: ringing in ears, bells, 'whooshing' buzzing etc.